Monday, April 30, 2012

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-2

So, after my first meeting during arrange marriage process incoming and outgoing of marriage proposals were going on. I used to filter the profiles which I felt suitable and then asked my parents to have a look at them, take decision and either send a mail or reply to a mail for further proceedings.

Going through this an another meeting got fixed. This time I had to go to girl’s place at Model town in Delhi. When I got a call  from girl’s mother (let’s call her “The Lady”) for the coordinates of their house I actually resisted a bit to go to their home. I asked them whether we can meet at some public place like in a Mall or in Mc Donalds but they told me that there is no such thing in their vicinity. So, I had to go to their home in Model Town. Meeting time was fixed for 11am so I had to leave Indirapuram around 10 am (which is too early to get up on a weekend) as Metro takes around 45 minutes from Anand Vihar to Model Town.

I reached there on time, informed The Lady about my arrival on Metro station, she told me her husband will be there in next 5 minutes to pick me. Girl’s father came after 20 minutes to receive me at Metro station and then he escorted me to their home. It looked like as if he has smoked and spent those 15 minutes in enjoying taking puffs of that white smoke having nicotine, carbon monoxide and tar in it (Actually, being a non smoker I come to know very quickly if a person has smoked or not).

I settled down in their drawing room. Soon The lady appeared with Mango juice and other snacks, she was waiting to cover the table with the plates of snacks the moment prospective groom comes. Three of us were sitting there and the conversation followed:-

The Lady: Lo beta lo, pehle Paani peelo phir Mango juice pee lena.

Me: (Like a obedient kid) ji aunty, thank you.

The lady passed me a plate and placed one Samosa, one piece of Dhokla and a sweet in my plate. I was feeling hungry as I had just a cup of tea and two slices of brown bread in my breakfast before leaving my home but, in formality I said

Me: Auntyji, aapne bahut jyada rakh diya, itna main nahin kha paunga ( jab ki main soch rha tha ki yaar ek aur Samosa pet me chale jayega to pta bhi nahin chalega ki Samosa pet me kis kone me pada hua he).

The Lady: Arey nahin beta, itna to sab bacche kha hi lete hein.

The lady to his husband who was sitting silent and looking around.

The Lady: Aap bhi le lo kuch, kya rakhoon aapki plate me?

Father: Nahin, nahin, main nahin lunga kuch, abhi to breakfast kiya. Tum le lo.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin, main nahin humne abhi thodi der pehle breakfast kiya.

Me: Aunty aap le liyeje kuch. Main akela hi kha rha hoon to accha nahin lag rha aise.

The Lady: arey koi baat nahin aap khao.

In the mean time father picked newspaper from the table and started reading it. It quite weird that father was not showing any interest in the marriage process of her daughter.

The Lady: To beta, aap log shaadi kahan se karenge?

Bingo!! Here comes the first interview question of the process.

Me: Aunty, abhi aisa kuch decide nahin he. Humare saare relatives isi area me he to shayad yahin se karenge.

The Lady: Accha. Main Shweta ko bulati hoon.

She disappeared to call her darling daughter. I finished my Samosa and was thinking whether I should continue with Dhokla or go slowly. Father was not interested at all so he was reading his NBT. The lunch was getting prepared in their kitchen as I was able to smell the fragrance of Rajma getting cooked. (Naak thodi tez he ji meri…)

The girl appeared, no…not with the tray of tea and other things but with a very different expression on her face as if she was not in the mood to do all this and her parents(especially her mother) have forced her. I can understand that kind of feeling when you are supposed to do things which you are not willing to do.

The Lady: Shewta beta, betho, yahan beth jao Ankit k samne.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aapko bola na maine I am okay here.

The Lady: Arey beta samne beth jaana, ek doosre ko dekh to loge thik se. Ab ek doosre ko dekhoge tabhi to decide karoge.

Shweta: (In high pitch)Mummy please.

Me: Aunty please, yeh kaisi baatein kar rahe he aap (only in my mind).

She was not looking at me. She was looking down. I felt either she is shying very much or she does not want all this. Chances of second thought are more as she didn’t seem to be a shy girl. I broke the cone of silence

Me:  Hello!!

Shweta Nodded her head but didn’t say any word. I made my mind that I am not going forward here but still I needed to sit there since I am in their home.

Me: Aap kuch lijiye khane k liye.

The Lady: Haan beta tum bhi kuch le lo.

Shweta: Nahin, mujhe kuch nahin lena.

The Lady: Arey lele beta, wo akele hi kha rahe he, company ho jayegi.

Shweta: Mummy!! Maine kaha na ki mujhe nahin khana he kuch bhi, abhi to  breakfast kiya he maine aur kitna khaun.

I stopped slicing Dhokla for a moment when I heard what she said but then I continued with Dhokla while thinking “Arey maine breakfast nahin kiya he to main to kha sakta hoon J aur waise is family ki unity dekho, koi kuch khane ko taiyaar hi nahin he. Jaise Bakre ko halaal karne se pehle bahut khilaya jaata he waise hi situation yahan meri he ;)”.

The Lady: Aap dono aapas me baat kar lo, hum aate hein thodi der me.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aisi bhi koi baat nahin karni he hume, aap dono beth sakte ho.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin. Kar lo aapas me baat, jo poochna he wo pooch lo.  Suno ji, aap bhi chal lo.

Father got surprised when he heard what his majesty said and left his place and placed newspaper back on the table.

Me: haan aunty, aap logo k jaane ki zaroorat nahin he.

The Lady: Nahin nahin, hum aate he abhi thodi der me. 

 I, Shweta and Samosa, dhokla along with other stuff between us were in the room. I thought ki “yaar 5-10 minute pass karne he aur main ab aur kya baat karun, Shweta to kuch baat karne k mood me lag hi nahin rahi he aur ab to dhokla bhi khatam ho gya he to khali beth kar idhar udhar dekhne se accha he ki main hi kuch pooch leta hoon ”. She was completely ignoring me and I got that but still I asked her

Me: So in which platform do you work in TechM?

Shweta: Database technologies.

Me: Okay, in development, testing or DBA?

She paused for some time. I thought she is not interested to answer this question.

Shweta: I am DBA (Database Administrator).

Her father appeared in the room and took his seat. All three of us were silent and I had already  put my plate down on the table. I was looking at them and they were looking at me. It was an awkward moment but I wasn’t responsible for this. Shweta picked that NBT newspaper and started reading it, The lady was not in the room, her father was looking at me and I was looking at him with a small smile on my face. I was smiling at her daughter, I was smiling on how she was behaving. She sensed the silence in the room so broke it by saying

Shweta: Arey Papa!! kuch to baat kar lo, sab hi chup ho gaye hein.(She said this line as if she cares how to treat a guest).

Finally, The lady appeared in the room and asked her daughter forcefully to go and make some tea. She refilled my plate with a Kachori and some sweets (ofcourse forcefully, but, I didn’t mind it J) and asked me one surprising thing

The Lady: Kaisi lagi humari beti?

 I was totally astonished by this question of her and I was struggling very hard to what to tell her. I was in their home and it’s not right if I tell her that I didn’t like her daughter at all and to whom her daughter was showing all that attitude but I thought to handle this question diplomatically but that diplomacy didn’t worked.

Me: Aunty, main aise kaise bta sakta hoon aapko. I mean, 5-10 minute ki meeting me main kuch decide nahin kar paya.

The Lady: Dekhne me kaisi lagi? Aapko pasand aayi? Baat cheet karne me kaisi lagi?

(Abe yaar!!, ye to directly pooch rahi he ab inhe kaise directly mana karoon…. Kuch positive sa bolke bhaago yahan se)

Me: Aunty, baat karne me to mujhe thik lagi Shweta Ji (Ji with more emphasis), baaki main mujhe apne ghar waalon se discuss karna padega.

The Lady: haan beta, ghar waalon se to discuss zaroor karna chahiye. Ab mera beta USA me he, wahan usne apne aap hi ek Indian ladki se shaadi karne ki zidd pakad li ab hum kya karein bachhon ki zidd k aage to maa baap to jhukna hi padta he. Aur jo bahu he humari wo bahut moti he, pta nahin kya dekha humare bête ne usme lekin dono accha kama rahe he wahan. Main dikhati hoon aapko unki photo.

On this moment I started losing my patience, why in the world this lady was telling me about all this and why she want to show photo of her daughter-in-law, who I am to her ? I didn’t said anything. She went in to the kitchen to see what is taking so long for tea to come. Again, I was with the father in that room. This time I thought “Yaar, ye uncle ji ko smile pass karne se accha he ki plate me rakhe items pe concentrate karo.” J

The lady appeared again and told that Shweta’s grandfather (let’s call him Dadaji) want to meet me and he would like to share tea with us. They took me in the room of Grandfather at the ground floor, I saw the exit gate and thought to run away but I was escorted and followed by three of them so no chance of escape unless I did some action like Agent Vinod.

When we entered in the room, Dadaji raised his hand towards me, I grabbed his hand and shaked it firmly believing that he wants to shake hands but later on from his facial expression I realized that he was asking me to seat on the chair in the direction of his hand J. I want to rofl but sensing seriousness in the room I did not. Dadaji talked about general matrimonial thingy things and the whole meeting came to end with a final punch from the lady

The Lady: Beta, aap apne parents se discuss kar lena aur hume zaroor batana ki aage se proceed karna he, batana zaroor jis se hum bhi sure ho jaye, kaafi log aate he kha peekar chale jaate he aur jawab hi nahin dete.

Me: Ji Aunty, zaroor, aapne bahut acchi khatidaari kari he, hum iska jawab zaroor denge. Namaste!!

The Lady: Namaste!!

I left their place, felt relieved and bought a lemonade from a nearby shop to digest all those stuff which was stuffed in my stomach.

1 comment:

  1. Haaye raam, what a FAMILY, I must say.. I am waiting for more of your stories!