Thursday, April 26, 2012

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-1

It’s been already 5 months to my marriage and 1 year ago this was the time when my arrange marriage process was going on according to flowchart of arrange marriage process. As I was away from my parents so firstly I have to meet girl’s family or sometimes directly to the girl if she was also away from her parents. But, this post and further posts on this topic will contain my funny (or weird) meeting experience with family members of those potential prospective candidates naah… I should say brides.

On a fine sunny Sunday my meeting was fixed at my home with the parents of a girl from Delhi. They insisted to come to my place, may be they want to see how this bachelor is keeping up his home or may be my living standard. Although the maid came that day but I was more conscious about cleanliness and other stuff ;) after all first impression sometimes matters a lot. I got call from them and I went down to receive them as finding my flat is a tricky task apart from hit and trial method (yes, the society in which I am residing has a very weird nomenclature for numbering flats i.e. flat 806,606 and 506 are not at floor 8,6 and 5 respectively but they are on floor 7. So, first time  whosoever comes to our society had a very hard time finding a flat).

When I saw their car approaching towards me my face grew a small smile and my body language started changing to show my humbleness. When their car with black tinted window glasses stopped first I saw front door opening then back door followed by driver’s front door and then again back door. For that moment I said “OMG, they are more than two people” and then “So, they are four people…abe bacche ki jaan loge kya…..4 bade log and main akela…aaj to beta Ankit accha interview hone waala he”. While exchanging greetings one thing struck my mind “They didn’t told me that four people are coming and I have made arrangements for 3, let’s see how it goes..”.

After everyone got settled girl’s uncle (paternal uncle and aunt were accompanied with parents of girl) opened the discussion with question

Uncle: What is the meaning of Ankit?

My Mind: What?? Is this the kind of question somebody ask in the meeting for arrange marriage?

Avoiding my facial expression on this question and maintaining that small smile on my face I said

Me: It’s meaning is printed.

Uncle: hmm. So, what is the reason behind giving your matrimonial advertisement in newspaper?

My Mind: Bechara kuch samajh hi nahin paaya so it asked me to say something to avoid dumb situation.

Me: Sorry, I didn’t get you.

Uncle: I mean, generally people look for matrimonial matches through reference of their relatives and they put their add on newspaper and on Internet as a last option.

My Mind: Accha to ye matlab he is question ka. Abe!! yahi same question to main bhi in se pooch sakta hoon. Are they not getting a good match for their daughter or they are completely exhausted with references of their relatives? After all, they also referred newspaper and they responded to my matrimonial advertisement. Today they are sitting here  in my home due to that advertisement only.

Both ladies of that family were just smiling as if the big man has asked a question by attaching gym weights with it to make it more heavier. Girl’s father was expression less and he was waiting for my answer with his cross legs over each other and index finger on his cheeks, other fingers on his chin as if he is listening to some problem like Sarkar in RGV’s Sarkar.

Sensing the criticality of this situation and expectancy level I wished if someone from my family was here, I knew that I had to answer this question very diplomatically so I said

Me: Well, Internet and newspaper are the fastest means of communication these days and everyone wants to save time. Nowadays internet is not requirement but it is a basic necessity. We are still looking for references from family as they can be trusted on the first place but by putting your advertisement in newspaper and your profile on matrimonial website gives you more options to explore. In earlier time it was not required but today it is required.

Both ladies were still smiling as before and scanning me from top to bottom, big man did not looked satisfied with my answer, girl’s father shifted his hand from his face and put them across his chest and for the first time he spoke to ask me another question. They all might be unaware that I was observing each thing happening in that room.

Girl’s Father: So, you must be getting other proposals?

My Mind: Of course why not? And why shouldn’t one get it? Aren’t you getting for your daughter?

Me: Yes, (sarcastically) you know we have given advertisement in newspaper so that is so obvious.

Both ladies looked at each other and smile vanished from their face. Big Man who was silent and enjoying snacks (whatever I had arranged) stopped for a second and then resumed, father of girl remained in that same position and just blinked. The scene was as if I have refused to marry their darling daughter.

Breaking the developed silence Girl’s Mother spoke for the first time

Girl’s Mother: So, Beta, what do you do in your free time?

My mind: Oh, she speaks too.

Me: By showing them my novel collections stacked in my bookshelf I told them either I read my novels or I surf Internet.

Internet, Big man raised his eyebrows when he heard this word, father was in up straight position.

They told me about their daughter and asked me whether I want to ask something about their daughter, I refused.

Girl’s Father: Ok, Ankit ji, we should take your leave now. We will discuss things further with your father.

My Mind: Interview over….relief..

Me: Okay, Uncle. Thank you.

 Aunt: Can we see your home? (Yes, she spoke too).

My Mind: Why they want to explore my place?

Me: Okay.

I showed them my place. Girl’s aunt asked me

 Aunt: This refrigerator is yours or it is provided by your Landlord?

Me: It’s Mine.

They saw other things too and discussed about that in their eye language. I felt that these ladies might be investigating which things I have with me. I went down to see off them, girl’s father left to pick his car and others were waiting for him, I was looking at Big Man, I observed that one lady moved and went behind me, from her reflection in one of the window pane of a car (to which I was facing) I saw that she was again scanning me from back side. I felt very uncomfortable, what these ladies are looking in my body?  it’s just a human body why are they staring like this? Such were the several questions which ran through my mind.

 As I was looking at Big Man I felt that he want to say something and he asked one more question

Uncle: So, how do you go to your office?

My mind: say, on bicycle.

I was about to answer his question but before I said something girl’s father came with his car and asked them to board it. They hopped on and left. This is how my interview got over by teaching me a lesson that how girls feel when somebody scan their body from top to bottom.


  1. This is funny.. you actually went through with all of this.. wow!
    Somehow I can never imagine myself being scrutinized this way.. I'll probably lose my mind and say anaap shanaap... kudos to you though :)

  2. @Sakshi: Yes, now when I think about that time it seems funny although meeting my wife has a different story.

    I have more experiences to share, watch out for part 2 and part3.