Monday, April 30, 2012

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-2

So, after my first meeting during arrange marriage process incoming and outgoing of marriage proposals were going on. I used to filter the profiles which I felt suitable and then asked my parents to have a look at them, take decision and either send a mail or reply to a mail for further proceedings.

Going through this an another meeting got fixed. This time I had to go to girl’s place at Model town in Delhi. When I got a call  from girl’s mother (let’s call her “The Lady”) for the coordinates of their house I actually resisted a bit to go to their home. I asked them whether we can meet at some public place like in a Mall or in Mc Donalds but they told me that there is no such thing in their vicinity. So, I had to go to their home in Model Town. Meeting time was fixed for 11am so I had to leave Indirapuram around 10 am (which is too early to get up on a weekend) as Metro takes around 45 minutes from Anand Vihar to Model Town.

I reached there on time, informed The Lady about my arrival on Metro station, she told me her husband will be there in next 5 minutes to pick me. Girl’s father came after 20 minutes to receive me at Metro station and then he escorted me to their home. It looked like as if he has smoked and spent those 15 minutes in enjoying taking puffs of that white smoke having nicotine, carbon monoxide and tar in it (Actually, being a non smoker I come to know very quickly if a person has smoked or not).

I settled down in their drawing room. Soon The lady appeared with Mango juice and other snacks, she was waiting to cover the table with the plates of snacks the moment prospective groom comes. Three of us were sitting there and the conversation followed:-

The Lady: Lo beta lo, pehle Paani peelo phir Mango juice pee lena.

Me: (Like a obedient kid) ji aunty, thank you.

The lady passed me a plate and placed one Samosa, one piece of Dhokla and a sweet in my plate. I was feeling hungry as I had just a cup of tea and two slices of brown bread in my breakfast before leaving my home but, in formality I said

Me: Auntyji, aapne bahut jyada rakh diya, itna main nahin kha paunga ( jab ki main soch rha tha ki yaar ek aur Samosa pet me chale jayega to pta bhi nahin chalega ki Samosa pet me kis kone me pada hua he).

The Lady: Arey nahin beta, itna to sab bacche kha hi lete hein.

The lady to his husband who was sitting silent and looking around.

The Lady: Aap bhi le lo kuch, kya rakhoon aapki plate me?

Father: Nahin, nahin, main nahin lunga kuch, abhi to breakfast kiya. Tum le lo.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin, main nahin humne abhi thodi der pehle breakfast kiya.

Me: Aunty aap le liyeje kuch. Main akela hi kha rha hoon to accha nahin lag rha aise.

The Lady: arey koi baat nahin aap khao.

In the mean time father picked newspaper from the table and started reading it. It quite weird that father was not showing any interest in the marriage process of her daughter.

The Lady: To beta, aap log shaadi kahan se karenge?

Bingo!! Here comes the first interview question of the process.

Me: Aunty, abhi aisa kuch decide nahin he. Humare saare relatives isi area me he to shayad yahin se karenge.

The Lady: Accha. Main Shweta ko bulati hoon.

She disappeared to call her darling daughter. I finished my Samosa and was thinking whether I should continue with Dhokla or go slowly. Father was not interested at all so he was reading his NBT. The lunch was getting prepared in their kitchen as I was able to smell the fragrance of Rajma getting cooked. (Naak thodi tez he ji meri…)

The girl appeared, no…not with the tray of tea and other things but with a very different expression on her face as if she was not in the mood to do all this and her parents(especially her mother) have forced her. I can understand that kind of feeling when you are supposed to do things which you are not willing to do.

The Lady: Shewta beta, betho, yahan beth jao Ankit k samne.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aapko bola na maine I am okay here.

The Lady: Arey beta samne beth jaana, ek doosre ko dekh to loge thik se. Ab ek doosre ko dekhoge tabhi to decide karoge.

Shweta: (In high pitch)Mummy please.

Me: Aunty please, yeh kaisi baatein kar rahe he aap (only in my mind).

She was not looking at me. She was looking down. I felt either she is shying very much or she does not want all this. Chances of second thought are more as she didn’t seem to be a shy girl. I broke the cone of silence

Me:  Hello!!

Shweta Nodded her head but didn’t say any word. I made my mind that I am not going forward here but still I needed to sit there since I am in their home.

Me: Aap kuch lijiye khane k liye.

The Lady: Haan beta tum bhi kuch le lo.

Shweta: Nahin, mujhe kuch nahin lena.

The Lady: Arey lele beta, wo akele hi kha rahe he, company ho jayegi.

Shweta: Mummy!! Maine kaha na ki mujhe nahin khana he kuch bhi, abhi to  breakfast kiya he maine aur kitna khaun.

I stopped slicing Dhokla for a moment when I heard what she said but then I continued with Dhokla while thinking “Arey maine breakfast nahin kiya he to main to kha sakta hoon J aur waise is family ki unity dekho, koi kuch khane ko taiyaar hi nahin he. Jaise Bakre ko halaal karne se pehle bahut khilaya jaata he waise hi situation yahan meri he ;)”.

The Lady: Aap dono aapas me baat kar lo, hum aate hein thodi der me.

Shweta: Nahin Mummy, aisi bhi koi baat nahin karni he hume, aap dono beth sakte ho.

The Lady: Nahin, nahin. Kar lo aapas me baat, jo poochna he wo pooch lo.  Suno ji, aap bhi chal lo.

Father got surprised when he heard what his majesty said and left his place and placed newspaper back on the table.

Me: haan aunty, aap logo k jaane ki zaroorat nahin he.

The Lady: Nahin nahin, hum aate he abhi thodi der me. 

 I, Shweta and Samosa, dhokla along with other stuff between us were in the room. I thought ki “yaar 5-10 minute pass karne he aur main ab aur kya baat karun, Shweta to kuch baat karne k mood me lag hi nahin rahi he aur ab to dhokla bhi khatam ho gya he to khali beth kar idhar udhar dekhne se accha he ki main hi kuch pooch leta hoon ”. She was completely ignoring me and I got that but still I asked her

Me: So in which platform do you work in TechM?

Shweta: Database technologies.

Me: Okay, in development, testing or DBA?

She paused for some time. I thought she is not interested to answer this question.

Shweta: I am DBA (Database Administrator).

Her father appeared in the room and took his seat. All three of us were silent and I had already  put my plate down on the table. I was looking at them and they were looking at me. It was an awkward moment but I wasn’t responsible for this. Shweta picked that NBT newspaper and started reading it, The lady was not in the room, her father was looking at me and I was looking at him with a small smile on my face. I was smiling at her daughter, I was smiling on how she was behaving. She sensed the silence in the room so broke it by saying

Shweta: Arey Papa!! kuch to baat kar lo, sab hi chup ho gaye hein.(She said this line as if she cares how to treat a guest).

Finally, The lady appeared in the room and asked her daughter forcefully to go and make some tea. She refilled my plate with a Kachori and some sweets (ofcourse forcefully, but, I didn’t mind it J) and asked me one surprising thing

The Lady: Kaisi lagi humari beti?

 I was totally astonished by this question of her and I was struggling very hard to what to tell her. I was in their home and it’s not right if I tell her that I didn’t like her daughter at all and to whom her daughter was showing all that attitude but I thought to handle this question diplomatically but that diplomacy didn’t worked.

Me: Aunty, main aise kaise bta sakta hoon aapko. I mean, 5-10 minute ki meeting me main kuch decide nahin kar paya.

The Lady: Dekhne me kaisi lagi? Aapko pasand aayi? Baat cheet karne me kaisi lagi?

(Abe yaar!!, ye to directly pooch rahi he ab inhe kaise directly mana karoon…. Kuch positive sa bolke bhaago yahan se)

Me: Aunty, baat karne me to mujhe thik lagi Shweta Ji (Ji with more emphasis), baaki main mujhe apne ghar waalon se discuss karna padega.

The Lady: haan beta, ghar waalon se to discuss zaroor karna chahiye. Ab mera beta USA me he, wahan usne apne aap hi ek Indian ladki se shaadi karne ki zidd pakad li ab hum kya karein bachhon ki zidd k aage to maa baap to jhukna hi padta he. Aur jo bahu he humari wo bahut moti he, pta nahin kya dekha humare bête ne usme lekin dono accha kama rahe he wahan. Main dikhati hoon aapko unki photo.

On this moment I started losing my patience, why in the world this lady was telling me about all this and why she want to show photo of her daughter-in-law, who I am to her ? I didn’t said anything. She went in to the kitchen to see what is taking so long for tea to come. Again, I was with the father in that room. This time I thought “Yaar, ye uncle ji ko smile pass karne se accha he ki plate me rakhe items pe concentrate karo.” J

The lady appeared again and told that Shweta’s grandfather (let’s call him Dadaji) want to meet me and he would like to share tea with us. They took me in the room of Grandfather at the ground floor, I saw the exit gate and thought to run away but I was escorted and followed by three of them so no chance of escape unless I did some action like Agent Vinod.

When we entered in the room, Dadaji raised his hand towards me, I grabbed his hand and shaked it firmly believing that he wants to shake hands but later on from his facial expression I realized that he was asking me to seat on the chair in the direction of his hand J. I want to rofl but sensing seriousness in the room I did not. Dadaji talked about general matrimonial thingy things and the whole meeting came to end with a final punch from the lady

The Lady: Beta, aap apne parents se discuss kar lena aur hume zaroor batana ki aage se proceed karna he, batana zaroor jis se hum bhi sure ho jaye, kaafi log aate he kha peekar chale jaate he aur jawab hi nahin dete.

Me: Ji Aunty, zaroor, aapne bahut acchi khatidaari kari he, hum iska jawab zaroor denge. Namaste!!

The Lady: Namaste!!

I left their place, felt relieved and bought a lemonade from a nearby shop to digest all those stuff which was stuffed in my stomach.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Meeting During Arrange Marriage Process-1

It’s been already 5 months to my marriage and 1 year ago this was the time when my arrange marriage process was going on according to flowchart of arrange marriage process. As I was away from my parents so firstly I have to meet girl’s family or sometimes directly to the girl if she was also away from her parents. But, this post and further posts on this topic will contain my funny (or weird) meeting experience with family members of those potential prospective candidates naah… I should say brides.

On a fine sunny Sunday my meeting was fixed at my home with the parents of a girl from Delhi. They insisted to come to my place, may be they want to see how this bachelor is keeping up his home or may be my living standard. Although the maid came that day but I was more conscious about cleanliness and other stuff ;) after all first impression sometimes matters a lot. I got call from them and I went down to receive them as finding my flat is a tricky task apart from hit and trial method (yes, the society in which I am residing has a very weird nomenclature for numbering flats i.e. flat 806,606 and 506 are not at floor 8,6 and 5 respectively but they are on floor 7. So, first time  whosoever comes to our society had a very hard time finding a flat).

When I saw their car approaching towards me my face grew a small smile and my body language started changing to show my humbleness. When their car with black tinted window glasses stopped first I saw front door opening then back door followed by driver’s front door and then again back door. For that moment I said “OMG, they are more than two people” and then “So, they are four people…abe bacche ki jaan loge kya…..4 bade log and main akela…aaj to beta Ankit accha interview hone waala he”. While exchanging greetings one thing struck my mind “They didn’t told me that four people are coming and I have made arrangements for 3, let’s see how it goes..”.

After everyone got settled girl’s uncle (paternal uncle and aunt were accompanied with parents of girl) opened the discussion with question

Uncle: What is the meaning of Ankit?

My Mind: What?? Is this the kind of question somebody ask in the meeting for arrange marriage?

Avoiding my facial expression on this question and maintaining that small smile on my face I said

Me: It’s meaning is printed.

Uncle: hmm. So, what is the reason behind giving your matrimonial advertisement in newspaper?

My Mind: Bechara kuch samajh hi nahin paaya so it asked me to say something to avoid dumb situation.

Me: Sorry, I didn’t get you.

Uncle: I mean, generally people look for matrimonial matches through reference of their relatives and they put their add on newspaper and on Internet as a last option.

My Mind: Accha to ye matlab he is question ka. Abe!! yahi same question to main bhi in se pooch sakta hoon. Are they not getting a good match for their daughter or they are completely exhausted with references of their relatives? After all, they also referred newspaper and they responded to my matrimonial advertisement. Today they are sitting here  in my home due to that advertisement only.

Both ladies of that family were just smiling as if the big man has asked a question by attaching gym weights with it to make it more heavier. Girl’s father was expression less and he was waiting for my answer with his cross legs over each other and index finger on his cheeks, other fingers on his chin as if he is listening to some problem like Sarkar in RGV’s Sarkar.

Sensing the criticality of this situation and expectancy level I wished if someone from my family was here, I knew that I had to answer this question very diplomatically so I said

Me: Well, Internet and newspaper are the fastest means of communication these days and everyone wants to save time. Nowadays internet is not requirement but it is a basic necessity. We are still looking for references from family as they can be trusted on the first place but by putting your advertisement in newspaper and your profile on matrimonial website gives you more options to explore. In earlier time it was not required but today it is required.

Both ladies were still smiling as before and scanning me from top to bottom, big man did not looked satisfied with my answer, girl’s father shifted his hand from his face and put them across his chest and for the first time he spoke to ask me another question. They all might be unaware that I was observing each thing happening in that room.

Girl’s Father: So, you must be getting other proposals?

My Mind: Of course why not? And why shouldn’t one get it? Aren’t you getting for your daughter?

Me: Yes, (sarcastically) you know we have given advertisement in newspaper so that is so obvious.

Both ladies looked at each other and smile vanished from their face. Big Man who was silent and enjoying snacks (whatever I had arranged) stopped for a second and then resumed, father of girl remained in that same position and just blinked. The scene was as if I have refused to marry their darling daughter.

Breaking the developed silence Girl’s Mother spoke for the first time

Girl’s Mother: So, Beta, what do you do in your free time?

My mind: Oh, she speaks too.

Me: By showing them my novel collections stacked in my bookshelf I told them either I read my novels or I surf Internet.

Internet, Big man raised his eyebrows when he heard this word, father was in up straight position.

They told me about their daughter and asked me whether I want to ask something about their daughter, I refused.

Girl’s Father: Ok, Ankit ji, we should take your leave now. We will discuss things further with your father.

My Mind: Interview over….relief..

Me: Okay, Uncle. Thank you.

 Aunt: Can we see your home? (Yes, she spoke too).

My Mind: Why they want to explore my place?

Me: Okay.

I showed them my place. Girl’s aunt asked me

 Aunt: This refrigerator is yours or it is provided by your Landlord?

Me: It’s Mine.

They saw other things too and discussed about that in their eye language. I felt that these ladies might be investigating which things I have with me. I went down to see off them, girl’s father left to pick his car and others were waiting for him, I was looking at Big Man, I observed that one lady moved and went behind me, from her reflection in one of the window pane of a car (to which I was facing) I saw that she was again scanning me from back side. I felt very uncomfortable, what these ladies are looking in my body?  it’s just a human body why are they staring like this? Such were the several questions which ran through my mind.

 As I was looking at Big Man I felt that he want to say something and he asked one more question

Uncle: So, how do you go to your office?

My mind: say, on bicycle.

I was about to answer his question but before I said something girl’s father came with his car and asked them to board it. They hopped on and left. This is how my interview got over by teaching me a lesson that how girls feel when somebody scan their body from top to bottom.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I don’t know what should I name this post so I leave it up to you.

Last week Saturday I was at nearby post office to send some documents through speed post. Since it was an off day for most of the people so there was a long queue on speed post counter and everyone was waiting impatiently for their turn, so does I. I saw that a attractive smart lady came in to the post office and started enquiring about something on some other counter. Later, she came to know that she has to be the part of that big queue of speed post, so, unwillingly she get queued.

She stood there for 5 minutes and being  not able to control her patience she stepped out of the queue and went straight to the counter and said “Can you please take my package, I have to go, I have a small child to take care”. Counter executive rudely said “Madam, please come in to the queue, I cannot accept your package like this. All the people in the queue will yell at me”. She turned around and asked the person who was next for billing to help her. She again said that emotional dialogue “I have to go, I have a small child to take care”. That person got persuaded with her plea and took her package for billing. All people behind in the queue saw this but nobody said anything on this and no one can say until a person has more than 4 package for speed post.

She said thanks and left the post office. I thought that “it’s okay, maybe she has a small kid who needs her attention asap”. My package got billed and I left post office after standing for half an hour.

Since it was a weekend we decided to go for a night show movie in a nearby multiplex. During interval, in the next row down to mine I saw that that same lady (who made an escape from big queue of speed post) was there with her husband and Surprise Surprise!! There was no kid with them. I was astonished to see that how smarlty <actually the word should be something different to signify that  lame act of her> she escaped that queue. She has kind of conned everyone in that line.

I wanted to go ask her “Lady, where is your child now? Doesn’t he/she needs your acute attention like in morning?” but I didn’t.

Ab ye to wohi baat he ki girls/ladies kuch bhi karein unhe sab maaf he, kabhi koi ladka aisa kare to log use simply pyaar se gaali de kar hata dete hein (like in queue at ticket counter on Railway Station, if some body goes to counter and says "Bhaiya,mera ticket le do, meri train choot jayegi" to peeche se aawaz aati he "*****/Oye Hero!! Line me aaja, hum sabki train choot rahi he"). Below posted video implies what I am saying here...

All I can say is that one can never expect such kind of thing from an smart and educated (beautiful too)person.

Note: This post is similar to my two earlier posts Sentiyapa and Emotional Atayachar.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Funny Statements on Vehicles

From the past few days I was recording those funny quotes/statements which are written on vehicles mainly on Trucks. Some of them are:

1. Rani Bana k rakh, raja bana dungi. 

2. Rani Bana k rakh, raja bana dungi,
     Pyaar se chalana mujhe,
    Ise Hawai Jahaaj Bana dungi.

3. kon kehta hai maut aaye gi aur mein mar jaoon ga, main to delhi ka    driver hoon cut mar kar nikal jaoon ga…….”

4. Buri Nazar waale tera Mooh kaala.

5. Buri Nazar waale tera bhi bhala ho.

6. Boori nazar waley tere bacchey joog joog jiye, badey hokar kacchi piye.

7. Use Dipper at Night.



10. Vikram ki baat Akram k Saath

11. Kripya uchit Doori banaye rakhe.

12. Chamcho se bachiye.

13. Titliyan Ras piti hain, Bhanwre Badnaam Hote hain,
      Galti Karta Koi aur hai , Truck Waale Badnaam hote hai.

14. Future First, Figure Next.

15. Boyfriend k saath beth kar driver ko bhaiya na bole.

16. Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi Hon, Sabko Punjab aur  Haryana  bhej do.

17. Dad says no race.

18. Catch me if you can.

19. It’s my mom’s/dad’s Gift.

20. If you are bad then I am your dad.

21. Bhagwaan bachaaye in teenon se, jua daaru aur in haseenon se.

22. Jio aur Jeene do.

23. Anarkali bhar ke chali.

24. Baap hai driver Beta khalasi,chal meri ek sau chhiyasi (186).

25. Bawan (52) ke phool, pachpan (55) ki mala, boori nazar waley tera mooh kala.

26. Maalik ki Zindagi fruit aur cake pe, Driver ki Zindagi steering aur brake pe.

27. Dekho, Magar Pyar Se.

28. 80 k Phool, 85 ki Maala; Buri Nazar waale tera Mooh Kaala.

I am sure there are many more but to record them may be I have to spend a night or two on the road Smile.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

My Desperate Housewife

As I was suffering from fever, body ache and coughing from last Thursday I was at home, yes.. you are right, no office before Monday which made me lying on the bed all the time like a lazy lion in its cave. Initially, I thought being at home for three days would be like a king taking part in a festival of laziness but it didn’t happened L had to work from home for some urgent issues but still I was a King in power who was getting his meals right on the bed with no help provided to queen (Palak) in preparation of those meals.

Apart from WFH (work from home) I was sleeping all the time due to the effect of meds which I took for my recovery. I saw that how desperately Palak is taking care of mine (so that I can get well soon and loose all these powers of King to the queen ;) ) and since she is not working for the time being how desperately she watch Desperate Housewives all the time on Star World. Every time I am half woken I saw Star World tuned on Television playing Desperate Housewives. Being Irritated I asked her

Me: “How many times in a day  Desperate Housewives comes on  Star World?? Don’t they have any other Tele-series to play?”

Palak: “Four times in a day and they have other series too like Joey, Two and a Half Men etc”.

Me: “Oh is it, but, why I see Desperate Housewives all the time on TV?

Palak: “You always wake up when DH is playing so what can I do in this and what should I do when you are asleep?

Me: “Oh..  am I sleeping that much? Btw, you should contact channel Star World and tell them that you are one of the contributor for the increase in their TRP”.

She just grinned, I thought I have already lost my authority to TV Remote control so it’s better to let her watch what she wants otherwise I will lose my only enjoyable “power to order” for the time I am sick.