Sunday, May 30, 2010

How to Check out Chromosome XX

***Disclaimer: Intention of this post is not to hurt any ones feeling. Chro XX please don’t get furious take it as just for laugh instead. You will be smiling after reading this post.***

We the members of ChhichCom (Chhichhora Community is a group of chhichoras that was formally founded in Southern part of  India, Chennai) never leave a single chance to stare or check out a damsel and we all act as wing man (like Barney Stinson) to each other whenever Biological chromosome XX is spotted.

Below I am documenting different tricks and ways to check out Chro XX without getting noticed and looking stupid, it may be possible that some of you already know these but this will be helpful to new joiners in ChhichCom.

Golden Rule: You can not stare or check out a XX alone, you must inform your buddy/ies who are with you at that time.

Use of Mathematics:-

Pre-requisite: knowledge of angles.

Area of Use: Anywhere.


1. Hey bro, Check out the XX with short hairs sitting at 90 degrees behind you.

2. Check out the XX with Goggles on her head sitting at 45 degrees to your left.

Use of  Cutlery items:-

Pre-requisite: knowledge of eating by knife.

Area of Use: Restaurants,parties.


1. Hey bro, Check out the XX with short hairs sitting at 90 degrees behind you.

Now, you don’t have to turn around while you are eating. Take your knife in your hand and put in such position so that you can see behind your back from the knife itself. If you are not able to see by your knife than ask your wing man to do so.

Use of Mirrors:-

Pre-requisite: Mirror or glass should be available around you.

Area of Use: Road,trains.


1. If you are inside train and there is a XX in your coupe than see her through the Mirror installed on the window, this way your eyes will not get caught by fellow passengers.

2. If you are in traffic and a XX is inside a vehicle like Auto-rickshaw or car, adjust your side mirror to have a glance of her.

Use Of Camera:-

Pre-requisite: Mobile/Digital camera with zoom functionality.

Area of Use: Anywhere.


Take out your digital camera and try to take photo of some object (it should look like you are taking a photo).Look at XX through its eye piece or in your mobile screen, zoom at desired level as per requirement.

Other general tips:-

1. If you want to get a feel of how a girl looks, make one quick glance and check to see if she's looking your way. If she is not, look again and look up and down fairly quickly (not too fast cause you won't gain any info, but not so slow that everyone notices) and then turn away.

2. Wait until she's busy. There's a great chance she won't catch you looking at her when she isn't paying attention or busy in something.

3. Take the help of a wing man. Guys never hunt alone anyway, so when you want to check out girls without their noticing, your buddies become your best defense. Sit next to each other at the bar/resto and face each other while having a conversation. While you may appear to be looking at your friend, you're really checking out the girls behind him.

4. Just look. Sometimes the best way to look innocent is just to go for it. Have a peek and check out the girl. She may not be used to such a direct look and either she'll think that you're looking at someone else.

I hope above methods/ways/tricks will help you to check out a XX next time. I may write a second part of this post once I have some more ideas about checking out a chromosome XX with out looking stupid. I am trying to act like a wing man to all members of ChhichCom. Let’s all seek blessings from the world’s greatest, Legendary and most awesome wing man Barney Stinson and let’s jump in the field.

It’s gonna be Legen……wait for it…..dary…….

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Ping Pong on IT Table.

You must have played ping pong on TT table but have you played or seen ping pong on IT table? Those who are working in IT organizations may have seen this or may be even played this game.

In this game everybody try to pass the ball in other’s court just like as a real ping pong game. We all want to stay away from politics but if we just brush off the dust than you will find that we all are part of politics in same manner, may be intentionally or unintentionally.

Let’s take this game in form of a conversation between Company X, Y and Z from India, Belgium and Sweden respectively who are collaboratively working for a product where company Y is the boss/client of company X and company Z. Employee A, B and C are working for Company X,Y and Z respectively.

B@Y: Hello Gentleman, I hope everybody is in this conference to start this status meeting for the progress and updates of product “Atlantis”.

B@Y: We have observed that in past few weeks performance of product “Atlantis” get degraded, do you guys have any inputs on this. (Service)

C@Z: Yes, we have also observed this. May be this is due to the latest changes in the software from X. (Ping towards A)

Now A@X has to Pong on this to save his ass,he said:-

A@X: C, why do you think so? The changes in our software were made according to specification of your software, if your software is not taking these changes which are although suggested by you than what can we do in this and as we know, in the latest release the major changes were in your software so might be some change is leaking to degrade the performance. (Pong towards C).

B@Y: C, A got a point, will you ask your team take a look again the changes made for this release? A please ask your team also to review the changes at their side once again.

A got first point here.

B@Y: Let’s move on to the issue18765, C, this issue was identified at your end so what is the progress on this? (Service).

This is an ace for C and they have nothing to ping on this so again A got another point.

C@Z: We are still looking in to it, we are not able to reproduce this issue till now, as soon as we reproduce this we will have a fix.

B@Y: I am looking at issue56781. A, what is the status of this? (Service).

A@X: We have the fix of this issue but we need some inputs from dev team at Z to make the fix more robust. (Ping towards C).

C@Z: A, we have already provided some inputs on this as requested by your team, do you need more inputs? (Pong towards A).

A@X: Well, I will check with my team. (Point goes to C)

B@Y: A, we need this fix ASAP so please check this with your team.

Score up till now A on 2 and C on 1. B@Y played few more services and score was A on 4 and C on 4.

B@Y: As I mentioned in the email which I sent on last week Friday, we need functionality 10 in the upcoming release, Have you both discussed it with each other? (Service ).

A@X: Yes B, we have internally reviewed the requirements and we also sent some requirements of our software to dev team at Z to integrate functionality 10. Now we are waiting for information from Z so that we can move on. (Ping towards C).

A got the point but suddenly C ponged

C@Z:A, to provide that information we need high level logic of your software. We need to better understand how your software is working than only we will be able to provide that information as both software are tightly coupled with each other to achieve functionality 10.

and C got the point and game got deuce here.

B@Y: A, please first provide  the required high level logic of your software to C.

C get advantage.

A@X: B, it’s not possible, those documents are under NDA (Non Disclosure Agreement).

game again got deuce.

B@Y: C, as A mentioned that these docs are under NDA so I need to discuss this matter with higher management and then I will let you know about the availability of these documents.

B@Y: Okay Guys we are going good here so let us meet again next week at same time.

What happened above is just ping pong of things between two parties while one party is acting as mediator. No one won the game and at the end all things were good.These things happens when ping pong is played on IT table.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Lady in the Gogs

Why BPO section of a company have more pretty girls as compared to IT section? This imbalance of pretty girls leads IT guys to woo every other pretty girl walking down in the company premises.
Whenever a new girl get spotted in the company premises, two speculations are made:-
1. If she is looking like every other girl i.e. a girl in formals (not very stylish cloths) with less makeup carrying a descent hand bag than she is in the IT department.
2. If she is looking like a girl with Sun glasses either on her eyes or on her head, having more makeup, funky hand bag and stylish cloths than she is in BPO department.
When speculation second is valid than all eyes escorts her un till the moment she disappears.
Some Software firms maintains male to female ratio in a team and some do not believe in such kind of ratio, I am working in the second type of software firm so whenever a new girl walks down on the floor all guys who were working very seriously in their respective module do not miss the chance to have a glance at new girl apart from the fact that before hearing the news about that new girl they were completely lost in their screen.
One fine day we were discussing about something and all team members except one were facing towards the window and the one was facing towards the bay (space between two cubicles which is used to commute on the floor), during the discussion he suddenly rose his eye brows and his eyes became wide. This gesture of him was enough for all of us to conclude that he just saw a new good looking girl on our floor.We all asked him “What is it ??” he said “A girl in the Gogs..”
We all turned our face backwards and 10 eyes were searching for that girl, one team mate asked him “Where? in which direction…” he left his chair and said “I am gonna check whether she is release version 1.0 or 2.0”. I know, now you must be wondering what does release version 1.0 or 2.0 means w.r.t a girl. Well, release version 1.0 means a unmarried girl so there are more chances to date her apart from the possibility that she is already having a boy friend or not, release version 2.0 means a married girl who become a lady so chances to date her is negligible.
All the guys who saw her were curious and all were trying to find out answer of one question which is “does she came for a interview or to join our project ?” and answer of this question depends in which room she went to i.e. if she is in a room where managers conduct interview than she is for interview and if she is in a room of big boss then she is definitely joining the project.
In the mean time our colleague came back and said “Guys, get back to work, she is 2.0 and came for a interview and yeah….she is Lady in the Gogs”…..oh man….c’mon…. this was the reaction of our team.I know this is a stupid thing but it is within all of us.
There is also one thing in IT offices, if a girl is really good looking than you will find this in first glance but if a girl is not really good looking and when you saw her then following things happen:-
Day 1: Ahaan, New girl.
Day 2: She is not good looking.
Day 3: She is Okay but not that much good looking.
Day 7:  She is Okay but not that much good looking.
Day 8: Okay, she is not good looking but she is a nice girl.
Day 9: C’mon man, I talked to her, she is a nice girl.
Day 20: Although she is not beautiful but she is really nice, intelligent and fun to be with girl.You will definitely get impressed if you talk to her.
Day 21: You will forget what you said in first seven days for this girl.
Day 25: You are trying to get some moments with her may be a coffee in pantry or just some project related talks.
Day 30: You will slightly fall for her but not completely (still at safe place).
Bottom line: You think a particular girl is not very beautiful but if you start seeing/interacting her every day then your views about that girl will change.
I believe this is a story of every IT house when a girl or Lady in the Gogs or may be without Gogs walks down the floor.